The Trophy Case
A long, proud history of stupid shit we do every week. Stars are tracked each season and mean nothing.
Good Trophies
The Sep Cup (“Lord Sep’s Cup”)★★★★★
The highest fantasy baseball achievement in all of Seppendom.
Chris Maletich Humanitarian Award★★★★★
To the GM showing the most humanitarianism all year. Anybody eligible, regardless of (criminal) record. Named for the legend who stopped checking his email circa 2006.
McAuliffe Medal of Greatness★★★★
To the team with the best regular season record.
Giuseppi “Joe” Erdely Cup★★★★
To the runner-up of the fantasy championship. Named for an amalgam of the fictional third Erdely brother and the other LaPlaca brother.
J. Sean Riordan Pickup of the Year★★★
The pickup of the year, in retrospect — slow-burn adds and prospecting wins.
2025 Jo Adell (Andrew Rohlin)
2024 Jackson Merrill (Glenn)
2023 Jorge Soler (Tom)
Tom Mantzouranis Cup★★★
To 3rd place in the playoffs. Named for fantasy legend Commish Tom.
Major League Pennant★★★
“I guess there’s just one thing left to do. Win the whole fuckin’ thing.”
Major League 2 Pennant★★★
“I’m the only winner… the rest of ’em, they’re losers. Either by choice or by birth.”
Mr. Brain’s Faggot of the Month★★
Honouring the best Sep of the month for on- and off-field achievements. Nothing like a warm, greasy faggot to celebrate a month well done!
Wallster Brothers Award★
To the weekly high scorer.
Bob Antoniadis Award (“The Bobito”)★
To the GM with the finest “move” of the week.
The Shelly Palmer Smack Talk Award★
The finest smack talk of the week (or anything else funny a GM does). Named for Sep Tub legend Sheldon H. Palmer.
Good Separitan Award★
To any manager who deserves a nice pat on the back.
Bad Trophies
Matt Erdely Tradition Award☆☆☆☆☆
To the worst fantasy GM in the league, inspired by Rob LaPlaca.
The Andrew “Rollins” Rohlin Drop of the Year☆☆☆
The worst drop of the year, in retrospect — the guy you wish you still had.
2025 Jeremy Pena (Real)
Sep Tub Cum Rag☆☆☆
Soccer’s yellow card, but for being a total hard-on about anything. (Yellow from old, crusty ejaculate.)
“Charlie Move” Demerit☆
To the most boneheaded move(s) of the week. An oft-misunderstood art.
Lastings Milledge Demerit☆
To the most worthless, pathetic team of the week — not necessarily the lowest scoring.
Defunct Trophies
The Andrew Erdely Gilette® Body Razor™ Close Shave of the Week—
To the victor of the week’s closest shave. “Wow, now that’s what I call a Close Shave!” — Andrew Erdely as Alex Rodriguez
Baddest Betch of the Month (sponsored by Betches.com)★
To the biggest turnaround in the last calendar month.
West / Shore / North Division Champion Banners★★★
To the winners of the West, Shore, and North divisions.